UNSEEN ONES
He sat on the ground with his belongings, just outside the gas station restroom. I turned and asked if I could buy him food from the connecting store. He declined. “No," he replied as his eyes met mine, “But thank you for seeing me.”
Thank you for seeing me.
It is the plight of those experiencing homelessness to feel as if they are never truly captured in view. Eyes often avert with discomfort or in attempt to be kind. We look away because looking begs deep inside for action and we are simply unsure what to do.
But they are not the only unseen ones.
The same could be said for many of us.
To be known is one of the greatest desires of the human soul, our every fiber begging for others to see us, accept us, value us. But to be known requires making oneself knowable, and when it comes to breaking down self-protective walls, we’ve learned that the risks run incredibly high.
To risk being seen means to risk being overlooked.
To risk being accepted means to risk being rejected.
To risk being valued means to risk being found unworthy.
I’m aware when I’ve switched into ‘protection mode’ in my own life, when I tidy up my image and my presentation into a neat little package that I believe you’ll accept. I read the room, assess my place, figure out what part of me is allowed to be seen here.
In doing so I stay safe - no risks taken, no worry about dismissal. I’m smart enough and perceptive enough to gauge the version of myself that will be best received, and in offering up that iteration, I am protected.
But in doing so, I am left unseen. You see me, but you don’t see the real me, and the real me so longs to be welcomed with value.
We all long to be welcomed with value.
But we will all have to be brave enough to allow ourselves to be seen.
These days I’m walking down the path towards simply showing up as I am. It feels risky and vulnerable, a bit like I’m stuck in a dream where I show up naked and wish everyone else would just avert their eyes. But it also feels like me.
In small ways and small steps I’m working on bringing what I have to offer, both the beautiful and the mess, slowly allowing the right people and appropriate circumstances to reveal the unfiltered version of myself.
The girl doesn’t look like she has it all together, but she’s beginning to look real.
Along the way I’ve discovered that I have amazing friends that are honored to truly see me, a few of which to whom I am deeply known. I’m aware of the risk and vulnerability, but I’m even more aware of the prize that lies on the other side of my self-protective walls.
Acceptance, value, a true sense of belonging.
We are all the unseen ones, but the truth is that we don’t have to be.
May we be brave enough to step out from behind our walls.